April 6, 2007

What to Watch: Coming Up on Cable

Tube Stake: Programming reviews by Seth Arenstein

The boys are back—finally—this Sunday night.

• Tonight — Friday, April 6

Instant Beauty Pageant, 10pm, Style. This is one of our favorite reality/contest series, where Debbie Matenopoulos and Cameron Mathison grab five unsuspecting women, give them three hours and $400 and ask them to compete against each other in a beauty contest. It’s especially fun when, like in tonight’s season 2 debut, one of the women seems to be a shoo-in and another, who initially appears to be a long-shot, blooms like a flower. The rule generally is that you can’t figure out who will win based on first impressions.

• Saturday, April 7

America’s Cutest Puppies, 9pm ET, WE tv. Remember The Puppy Channel, the televised parking space featuring nothing but frolicking puppies and sweet music? Doggone it, this 10-ep contest is much more—so much more. It’s a nine-city contest for the most adorable canine. But diabetics beware, these 30 minutes contain a lot of  sugar. But wait! There's more coming up with...

Adventures in Doggie Daycare, 9:30pm ET, WE tv. Blame it on reality television. We’ve had cameras chronicling restaurants, bounty hunters, airports, private eyes, hair salons, Hollywood health clubs and now an expensive Seattle dog daycare establishment, called the Downtown Doggie Lounge. For dog lovers only, though. Not everyone will appreciate graphics identifying poochie’s owner as its parents. And watching Fido being fed, bathed, groomed and exercised loses something after you’ve seen it done several times. Fortunately, in episode 2 we move away from the daycare center and get in-depth profiles of the dogs (oh, how interesting).

• Sunday, April 8

* Planet Earth, 8pm, Discovery Channel & Discovery HD. We’ll admit it, we fell for the humpback calf in this week’s installment, titled "Shallow Seas". Sure, it’s 10-feet long and weighs about one ton, but love sometimes is blind. Another must-see segment: the stars of the Great Plains, the gazelles.

* The Sopranos, 9pm, HBO. Sopranos creator David Chase, a master, sprinkles possible finale material throughout episodes 1 (tonight) and 2 of the ultimate eight-episode countdown for the series begins. The tension is so excruciating that a hard belch by Tony spurs alarm, as does a hair-raising story about his dear mother. [Read Seth's extended review of the first two episodes of The Sopranos' finale]

Entourage, 10pm, HBO. Last season’s Entourage was nearly derailed when Vince revived his friendship with a former homeboy who sported a police record. There is a new  chemistry as Vince’s neurotic agent Ari has been replaced by Amanda (Carla Gugino), a slightly older woman that our lads find irresistible. While this radically changes the series' frat house atmosphere, Amanda’s addition is handled deftly, and leads to a series of interesting plot twists. Other than that, Entourage hasn’t changed too much (thank, goodness). Although Kevin Dillon seems to get better each season and is now making his Johnny Drama a D-list tour de farce. [Read Seth's extended review of tonight's season premiere]

* The Tudors, 10pm, Showtime. Yes, we realize Henry VIII (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) is the protagonist in this lusty production, but we enjoy watching wily Cardinal Wolsey (Sam Neill) spin his web. On the other hand, in this episode Henry begins to show a tendency to bed nearly anything that moves, a fantasy that’s fun to see, but will no doubt lead to trouble.

• Monday, April 9

Falcon Beach, 7pm ET, ABC Family. In this season 2 premiere, the bad guys want to buy Jason’s (Steve Byers) family’s marina and they’ll use Paige Bradshaw (Jennifer Kydd) as the lure, if necessary. Of course the plot, such as it is, is merely a justification for viewers to get an eyeful of hardened teenage Canadian bodies in bikinis and bathing suits, which is, perhaps, not such a bad thing. 

Little People, Big World, 8pm, TLC. Season 2 of this docu-series about a family of little parents and their kids (one is little and three are average-height) begins with a traumatic accident when one of the children and a friend are injured by a trebuchet (a catapult device) on the family’s pumpkin farm. This episode is the first in the series to carry a PG rating owing to the intense subject matter. Families are advised to view it together.

• Tuesday, April 10

The Big Break VII: Reunion, 10pm ET, Golf Channel. The golfers learn about a big immunity twist that will change the complexion of the competition for the rest of the series.

Dog The Bounty Hunter, 9pm, A&E. Season 4 of the network's highest-rated original series begins with a
dogfight as Dog battles the Mexican legal system over his arrest on charges related to his capture of Andrew Luster, the convicted serial rapist and heir to the Max Factor cosmetics fortune.

• Wednesday, April 11

Top Design, 10pm, Bravo. The season finale of this interior decorating series. Will the winner be kooky, colorful Carisa or modernist, minimalist Matt? Our money's on Matt to win and Carisa to hear the final "See you later, decorator" farewell from lead judge Jonathan Adler. [Watch Seth's video interview with Adler and Top Design host Todd Oldham]

Shear Genius, 11pm, Bravo. We realized this contest of hairdressers was a cut above the rest when we found out that the head judge (no pun intended—OK, intended) was Sally Hershberger, the hair icon who gave Meg Ryan her signature shag cut a few years back. Host Jaclyn Smith is so understated you sometimes forget she’s there—a problem that plagued the mild-mannered Todd Oldham, host of Top Design (above). Still, she’s still one of the world’s most beautiful women, and—naturally—she’s got great hair, so viewers can always just admire her tresses. [Note: Regular 10pm ET timeslot starts Apr. 18]

• Friday, April 13

Painkiller Jane, 10pm, SCI FI. It’s a tribute to a show or a movie when it sets a tone and the viewer forgets his/her own  life. Painkiller Jane succeeds on  that count, creating a dark, wet world. The series is a bit uneven, but when it’s on it sizzles like some of SCI FI’s best, as does Kristanna Loken as Jane. [Watch Seth's video interview with Loken on her new series]

* Highly Recommended. All times ET/PT unless otherwise noted.

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