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August 10, 2007
What to Watch: Coming Up on Cable
Seth Arenstein sees through Hallmark Channel's Claire, spends time with VH1 in "the coolest year in hell" and checks in to Tori Spelling's Oxygen B&B.
Tube Stake: Programming Reviews by Seth Arenstein
VAL'S BACK: Valerie Bertinelli stars in Hallmark's Claire.
• SATURDAY, AUG. 11
Claire, 9pm, Hallmark Channel.
OK, add us to the list of baby boomers who watch Valerie Bertinelli and still see her as 15-year-old cutie Barbara Cooper on One Day at a Time. Hey, her voice hasn't changed since 1975. Deep down we know Val isn’t a teen anymore, but at 47 years old, she’s a relative teen on Hallmark.
Tonight we see heavy Val (this film was made prior to her losing more than 30 pounds on Jenny Craig) as a mother living the dream. She’s happily married, newly moved into a great Victorian home and her kids seem well adjusted. Darn thing is she’s like Johnny Smith (Anthony Michael Hall) from USA’s The Dead Zone. She touches you and can see into your past, and more important, your future. Seems our Claire (her name was a tip-off) is clairvoyant, which isn’t a bad thing necessarily. Heck, she could have saved ESPN a lot of time and money had the all-sports network been able to arrange for her to shake hands with Barry Bonds—she could have told Bristol when and where he’d finally hit those historic home runs.
But Hallmark Channel isn’t concerned with such things. The channel’s made a lot of business with mysteries of the non-sporting type. Claire’s new town is beset by murders (her hubby included) and, of course, our heroine will be able to assist the police with this mess. [Yes, we realize our sense of reality has blurred. As we noted above, we still see Valerie as a teenager. Therefore, it’s fitting that we accept as a given that a family friendly outfit like Hallmark Channel is allowed to include murders as part of its content.]
The ending seems to be leading to a Hallmarkian cliché, but for once on Hallmark, things aren’t what they appear to be in this fairly watchable film (and we’re not saying that because it stars Valerie Bertinelli). We won’t tell you who the murderer is, but we will say that only Hallmark could get away with having a geriatric killer.
NY77: The Coolest Year in Hell, 9pm, VH1.
Despite a silly title, this is an excellent piece of pop culture history programming. Besides the musical elements—it traces the roots of hip hop and the emergence of disco and punk with some good material on the Ramones's 2nd home, CBGB—this VH1 "Rock Doc" retells the story of the mayoral election that brought Ed Koch to power and touches on serial killer Son of Sam, the old Times Square sex shops and hookers and the July blackout that hit New York City.
But hold on, this isn’t The History Channel. When asked about the people who mounted a campaign during the mayoral race that tried to discredit him for being a homosexual (“Vote for Cuomo, Not the Homo” read the posters that adorned the city), Koch replies in an interview for this special: “F*** ’em.” And we get a funny bit from noted adult star Annie Sprinkle, who tells us just exactly what she was doing when the power went out during the blackout.
While it’s whizzing by with stories from Geraldo and Koch, it unfortunately doesn’t allow for much reflection or in-depth examination. Was it cool for people to have looted stores during the blackout? Were the sexual activities at Plato’s Retreat just harmless fun, as its founder claimed? And what was the implication of receiving a joint from President Carter’s mother or seeing Richard Dreyfuss having sex at a club?
• MONDAY, AUG. 13
Weeds, Season 3 premiere, 10pm; Californication, Series premiere, 10:30pm, Showtime.
Linear channel schedules may disappear one day, but pairing these series is a beautiful touch. Weeds adds complexity as Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) faces the reality of her profession as a suburban pot peddler. In Californication, David Duchovny’s character ignores reality as he attempts to be Peter Pan. The priceless opening minutes explain it well. Check back for more on these shows Monday.
• TUESDAY, AUG. 14
Tori & Dean: Inn Love, Season 2 premiere, 10pm, Oxygen.
Tonight brings new installments in the Tori Spelling/Dean McDermott reality series where the newly married couple takes a short break from Hollywood to try running a B&B. Based on the lengthy clip sent by Oxygen's PR team, clearly the characters have advanced since season 1 ended.
First and most important, Ms. Spelling is now a mother. She’s also experiencing morning sickness, so she might be pregnant again. Returning to the B&B after a short hiatus and with baby (and nanny) in tow, the couple finds the place is not profitable. More than that, security has become a problem as fans are jumping the fence and bothering the guests. Never mind that the place, which looks nice, has ticks and mice.
Tori, who came off as a rather nice if confused young lady in season one, jumps to the defense of animals, insisting that no mice will be killed at her B&B. The nanny (who we find out later can no longer grow pubic hair—don’t ask) finds a white mouse in a guest bathtub. Accordingly, a clip shows Tori jumping into said tub to humanely corner the mouse. Now is this important viewing or what?
I Am Mandy Moore, 10:30pm, Oxygen.
Normally we wonder what a network is trying to hide when it sends a clip reel of an upcoming show instead of a few episodes. But Oxygen's PR—as we note above—often sends clip reels. This time, though, it sent a hybrid—a relatively lengthy clip reel that lasted nearly 20 minutes. Here it seems fitting—the property being hyped is a hybrid, a special one-hour reality show/concert. Yet with the clip reel’s staccato format, it’s hard to know whether is worth watching. More important, will it answer that question for the ages: Who is Mandy Moore?
Yet you have to hand it to the marketing mavens who came up with the idea for this special. From the clips we see that singer/songwriter/actress Moore is, like many former teen stars, trying to turn the corner into adulthood. It’s clear that she can’t stand the work she did as a teen, despite the wealth and stardom it brought. At 23 she wants to be singing more mature songs and her newest album is a chance to re-brand herself. So, how do Moore and her manager propose to do that?
They hit the road for three months, visiting cities, towns and villages in a whirlwind of radio station interviews and live performances. But the kicker is that Oxygen’s cameras followed the Moore entourage (pun intended) on this expedition. The show ends with Moore in an exclusive New York concert for Oxygen, performing her new material, but begrudgingly singing Candy, that silly tune that made her what she is today.
• WORTH A LOOK
Meerkat Manor (Friday Aug. 10, 9pm) Animal Planet. Season 3 finds Flower's pups AWOL as the Whisker family gets evicted from their burrow by the Commandos. The tykes are in peril as predators loom and the Zappa clan must be taken down, all so the Whiskers can move into new digs. Tony Soprano had nuthin' on these wily critters of the Kalahari.
Diana: Last Days of a Princess (Sunday, Aug. 12, 8pm) TLC. What’s gutsy about this pastiche of drama and interviews is that it whacks at Dodi, his dad, the tabloids and (of course) paparazzi and even Diana.
Science of Dogs, (Wed. Aug. 15, 8pm) National Geographic Channel. Excellent look at how and why dogs were and are manipulated by humans to create just the right canine in what the show refers to as “a giant eugenics experiment.” Examples of our planet’s most varied species are fascinating, including Russia’s Sulimov dogs, bred solely to sniff out explosives.
All times ET/PT.
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